Loving myself and allowing others to love me

I've had a hard time loving myself - but you've made it easier for me to see the good in me.

For the longest time - I've struggled to fit in. As a big girl in a skinny world, it's hard to ignore (or not be reminded of the differences).

I've exercised / starved / paint (with lots of make up) just to fit in or feel pretty in the eyes of others.

To a certain extent, I've been successful but I feel like it's not what I'm really looking for.

I guess - I'm slowly understanding that my value is not / should not be gauged on how others feel of me.

They are not me and will never understand my pains / struggles and fears.

If people do not bother seeing more than the surface ... then they are not worthy of my time and love.

That does not mean I close off my walls - it's far from that. I am ready to open up and say how I really feel and think.  I should not be ashamed for who I am.

I'm feeling more like me as each day passes.