Is giving gifts a type of love or just a trap?

As all of us are scrambling to find our life partners, I can't help but to feel like a lot of it are just games and a set of traps. 

Illusions that make us feel like the relationship is valid - Gifts that temporarily fill a void, milestones that make it seem like we are progressing to another/ higher stage of the relationship. 

And many times during courtship (sadly), we don't give ourselves the time to be alone,  to reflect on whether we are happy or if the relationship aligns with the way we want to lead life. 

We get caught up in the whirlwind of romance - the idea that if things or worse, feelings plateau, we must do something and not remain stagnant. After a while these people use that as an indicator and I have seen so many relationships go downhill from that. 

Because at the end of the day, milestones will be completed, goals will be checked off. All that's left is you and your partner and the tower of illusions that you have built. 

We are so fixated on find the one that we rarely see the signs of a failing/incompatible relationship - instead we are riddled with fear and insecurity that we cling on to anyone who shows the slightest attraction to us and force our way through the relationship. 

Why are we so scared of waiting? More importantly, do we not see that this is more of a reflection of our own personal issues than the relationship itself? Instead of moving forward after marriage - i see people moving inwards and can't help but to feel like they only realise a lot later that it's a trap - a beautiful illusion on the surface but hollow on the inside.